Another boring blog.
My dad made me cry this morning.. he was up till 2am with me talking whilst i was finishing off some work. Then up earlier than me to make breakfast for the boys. I dropped them off at school came back and there he was holding a plate of toast and omlette for me. As we sat down talking about the role of fathers. He narrated to me the love Muhammad saas had for his grandchildren. How he would play with them even in Salah they’d be on his back. I couldn’t even look at my dad as all I could see was how he plays lightsaber wars with Xav… how he sits and listens to him read the Quran ….. how he cooks and feeds xav chicken daily as he refuses to eat anything else … how he speaks to hani with such compassion that I as a mother missed the boat on that one. He is just an amazing role model to them. The best as decreed by the best of Planners.
Getting away is always a good thing.
Too often in the humdrum of life I loose the bigger picture. What is the bigger picture I ask sat outside the box. My purpose … the million dirham question.
That was his message to me. Broke my heart. Yet I know he will soon run off to his bedroom kitted out with all the latest gear and be happy & safe in his world.
Xavier: one day I will ask you please don’t go and you will say I have to go.
I offered my salah before my cousin arrives for the drive down to London … I can feel it as I stand in front of him… Tears
I try to control it so the boys don’t realise …. I fail.
Quickly trying to disguise my anxiety I ask the eldest “go get the surprise gift for your brother.”
Trying to distract him from the fact I’m about to walk out of the front door.
Hani can’t decide whether to drive down with us to London or not..
I’m sure glad he did… I feel a sense of security and pride with my new home grown ‘Mahram’ and what a fine one he is indeed.