Dreaded time again where so many of us parents think aaargh “what shall we do”. Frantically thinking of how to pack their days with things to do. So when the term starts they have a list to reel off …i did this and this ….
Yet when I asked my ten year old what do you want to do? “Nothing” was his reply. He didn’t even look up to answer me. Consumed by his lego building an “Empire Prison Cell block” Whilst he sings along varoius theme tunes from Star wars.
Somehow he likes the idea of his mummy occupying his bunk bed hanging out in his space. I’ve now been appraised on the different types of troopers he’s also re introduced me to Simon & Garfunkels 1964 “sound of silence”.
We talk. That’s what we do. We talk about everything that we usually wouldn’t during term time occupied by school time and flexi start times at work.
Where usually we are rushing go go go …suddenly everthing stopped. We dont know what day it is date nor time.
We talk about his concern when mummy says I hate work I want to quit… “well mum I get concerned it will affect me as you have one of the best paying jobs in England for common people. I mean we aren’t rich but we not exactly poor”.
Our discussion moves on to the prison he is building … i like padme son don’t be mean to her in the prison will she be tortured what about her human rights.
“Human rights do we have them in England I mean are they different in other countries. Mum have you read Pride and Prejudice…”
So my son is dictating our Christmas vacation … no he doesn’t want to go anywhere no holiday, he wants to stay home with his mum kidnapped being subjected to “its all about lego”
So I guess the problem is with me an inner voice that keeps rising to say “get up what we doing” only to be told no close tye door get back and can you put ths storm troopers arm in please”
Another boring blog.
My dad made me cry this morning.. he was up till 2am with me talking whilst i was finishing off some work. Then up earlier than me to make breakfast for the boys. I dropped them off at school came back and there he was holding a plate of toast and omlette for me. As we sat down talking about the role of fathers. He narrated to me the love Muhammad saas had for his grandchildren. How he would play with them even in Salah they’d be on his back. I couldn’t even look at my dad as all I could see was how he plays lightsaber wars with Xav… how he sits and listens to him read the Quran ….. how he cooks and feeds xav chicken daily as he refuses to eat anything else … how he speaks to hani with such compassion that I as a mother missed the boat on that one. He is just an amazing role model to them. The best as decreed by the best of Planners.
As the daughter of a first generation immigrant without the pressure of male siblings. Upon reflection we had issues growing up in 80s Britain both inside the house and outside.
And to see / hear young people in particular those of new migrants go through the same sufferage is heart breaking, bitterly disappointing because most people come to the UK for a better life. And yes what you will in a vast majority experience is good conduct honesty and the right to live your life as you so wish. Despite what the media and ministers make out “the war of the day” to be. Everyday folk just want to live and let live.
This concept of just “be who you are” seems so difficult still for some migrant families to adopt in the home life.
We have one set of rules outside the front door and one inside. I believe that this is one of the many reasons we have a disenfranchised youth. I still seem to come across fathers in particular who have issues with sons and daughters being what I can only describe as “honest in expressing” themselves. It’s almost as if these fathers want to put a control order on the thought process of their cchildren before the state does.
Cultural baggage is probably the biggest threat to the future generations if we ever want to raise a generation to think independently without stunting a child’s ability to critical thinking.