Too often it’s so easy to find myself entrapped in what I can only describe as the modern ills of society – social networking.
Where social media protagonists become larger than life. There are no barriers. No limits. Offense is the pièce de rèsistance crowned with an accolade of social glory.
Each one of us is vying to be proven right. And it is only when circumstances literally pull you away that harmony can be restored.
A harmony that I once cherished of privacy with those I held most dear to me. A perfect balance of time management and free time to nurture my soul.
The advantages of wifi… the www don’t outweigh what is at stake here for me.
Communication. Focusing on the right now than the what will be if i dont reply. Filter through these obstacles I’ve completed half my journey.
And when I sit back and look around I see the beauty in its most pure natural form.
This is what life was before the humdrum of who I am and who are you.
A life much more simple. One full of fun, love and laughter. Where no one knew who you were but you lived your life to the fullest.
You did what you had to because that is the essence of you. Its not about ego. I left that behind a long time ago.
I can feel my heart beat so strong. A crazy mad rush of love overtakes me. I see a decade flash before me eyes. The breeze I feel against my skin calling me to its shores. And still 17 years on my love for this land is standing stronger than the first day I stepped out into the ryad.
Look what I’m bringing back to you i hear my soul whisper “Your sons” I raised them well and now I hope they love you as much as I do.
I can’t get to you soon enough to feel the dust of which I am created. To see and feel you all around me like the maternal embrace of motherhood, softly healing my wounds as I turn up at your doorstep. I hear your words… it’s okay Sara that was the dunya you’re home now.
Getting away is always a good thing.
Too often in the humdrum of life I loose the bigger picture. What is the bigger picture I ask sat outside the box. My purpose … the million dirham question.
That was his message to me. Broke my heart. Yet I know he will soon run off to his bedroom kitted out with all the latest gear and be happy & safe in his world.
Xavier: one day I will ask you please don’t go and you will say I have to go.
I offered my salah before my cousin arrives for the drive down to London … I can feel it as I stand in front of him… Tears
I try to control it so the boys don’t realise …. I fail.
Quickly trying to disguise my anxiety I ask the eldest “go get the surprise gift for your brother.”
Trying to distract him from the fact I’m about to walk out of the front door.
Hani can’t decide whether to drive down with us to London or not..
I’m sure glad he did… I feel a sense of security and pride with my new home grown ‘Mahram’ and what a fine one he is indeed.